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It’s OK to feel “young at heart” as long as your emotional tool bag
doesn’t feel too empty or too disorganised at the same time

Growing Self Awareness

TYPICALLY THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  LIKE THESE MIGHT APPEAR  ON THE LEFT (Growing ) Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Age Awareness  - LIGHT AND DARK BLUE WING SECTORS

“I can choose and I can change ....;
I can balance my opposites.”;

Integrated Aware thinking and Feeling - Welcoming growth and change. Growing my Self Awareness increases Self Empowerment. Being authentic is more important than working on my old power and control issues.

Integrating all my Self Awareness systems - Emotional Age and Emotional Intelligence are both growing together. Seeing reality even more clearly. Combining feelings with reasoning gives a more balanced view.  Problem solving is getting better. Less emotional pain.

Realising at last that controlling others doesn’t help me feel better inside or fix anything inside me. Less interest in power and control issues. I am starting to feel good enough inside.

Growing sense of grown-up self-awareness and balanced self-empowerment. Feeling good enough lots of the time.

Emotional wounds healing. More vulnerable but feeling self protected in ways that don’t get me into blaming or controlling others or trying to take their power away from them




Using your own Do-it-yourself Emotional Age Wheel   


1. Read the pages “Explaining the Wheel”  and EA Terms so you have a good idea of what your Wheel might be measuring

2. Print several copies of the empty Wheel . It’s better to print more than one sheet because you will find you want to rewrite the Wheel quite often.

3. On your first EA sheet, start writing a few short phrases in your own words that reflect the way you are feeling at the moment or the emotional tools that you feel you  have been using recently.

4. Place each “feeling”  or emotional tool inside or around the Wheel in the spot where you feel it fits best for YOU  just now, just during the past hour, just  for today or just recently.

5. The words  on the sheet are only examples to help you  get the idea. Some of the words will ring a bell for you. Some won’t. Keep the ones that apply for you, even occasionally, but we suggest you cross out any that you feel just don’t apply for you at any time, today or any other day.

6. Add more of your own words and feelings as you go.

7. Decide for yourself where you locate your descriptions based on your own feelings. Do not try to put the words in places that you think other people would want you to, or the places they would approve of.

8. After a while look at the sectors on the Wheel where you have placed most of your words, your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions on this sheet or which sectors of the Wheel hold the most energy for you on this sheet That’s your emotional age reading for now, or perhaps just your last hour, perhaps just for today.

9. Tomorrow will be different , so  you will need to start a new sheet tomorrow.


WHAT IS  YOUR Wheel TELLING YOU ABOUT TODAY?

At different times today  where were your feelings and your energy located:



If your emotional age today is more to the right hand side than the left that’s OK. But do you feel you get stuck there and want to be able to move? It  may be time to read some more and then talk to someone about how you can move yourself over a bit more to the self-aware, blue or A side on the left.


There are lots of ways you can do this .





TYPICALLY THESE THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  MIGHT APPEAR  IN THE STAR RATIONAL MIND  (green) SECTOR

The more  I can think rationally and analyse the issues and see things from two or more different points of view the better I feel I am at solving my problems. The more I think through a problem rationally the stronger I feel and the less my emotional pain.  However, somehow I still can’t fix everything. I know I am “good enough” but deep down inside I sometimes still feel “not good enough”. It seems to me that there are some things that rational thinking cannot get to.







TYPICALLY THESE THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  MIGHT APPEAR  ON THE  Young Fixer sector  LOWER RIGHT (Yellow) Young Fixers are powerful but may over-react in a “young” way  by not seeing things clearly. Examples: Trying to get other people around me to change. Exaggerating or distorting an issue. Criticising, generalising, stereotyping, judging or looking for flaws in other people. Projecting  too much “I am sure” when reality is more “I am not sure”.

Young Fixers feel stronger but their problem solving approach still displays strong young protector elements. Not able to look at issues clearly from both sides. Still seeing too many solutions as “”outside of me” or requiring others to do most of the fixing.

Examples: Trying too hard to get other people around me to change. Arguing, Exaggerating or distorting an issue.

TYPICALLY THESE THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  MIGHT APPEAR ON THE TOP RIGHT Emotionally  very  young or Very Vulnerable  sector  Powerless INer Kid   PINK

Today I feel as though:

It’s all too much too small, too tired, too vulnerable, too easily hurt, fearful, helpless, hopeless. No tools, no solutions, no way out. Lost or abandoned.

I am  just not good enough; I’m not lovable; I can’t make it work, I’m always wrong; I’m un-balanced, I have no value, I am powerless. It’s all my fault. I am too small, too tired, too vulnerable, too easily hurt, fearful, helpless, hopeless.

TYPICALLY THESE THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  MIGHT APPEAR  ON THE orange or needy sector

I feel intense feelings inside me like:

 Doubt, Blamed, Guilty, Ashamed, Hurt, Sadness, Pain, Grief, Fear,  Victimiised, Worried, Alone, Panic, Unsafe, Loss, Lost, Embarrassment, Confused, Controlled, Frustrated, Offended, Terrified, Trapped, Unloved. Smothered, Devastated, Worthless; Cautious,

I keep doing things again and again to get others to like or love me:  Being extra charming towards others. Being overly compliant, don’t rock the boat, keep the peace. Giving in; Running away,  or playing the undeserving victim to gain sympathy.

TYPICALLY THESE THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  MIGHT APPEAR  ON THE Young Fighter-Survivor sector - Young Fighters are powerful but may over-react in a “young” way  by not seeing things clearly.

I feel intense feelings inside me like:

Anger, Rage, Fighting,  Jealousy, Envy,  Frustrated, Offended, Unloved  Annoyed;

I keep doing things again and again like:

Arguing, Resisting, Blaming, Rebelling. Trying to undo the losses that we sustained by playing the needy child roles for too long.

You might choose to use this Wheel to help others see where they  are at any one time.
BUT you must never use the Wheel to put another person down, or judge them or suggest what they are doing is “wrong” or that they are being “childish”.


If you did so you would be using a very un-grown-up emotional tool yourself.

There are times each day  when every position except perhaps “pink”  may be  just  right  for you at that moment.

This website is only a very short summary of the Emotional Age Awareness story.  For a full explanation and understanding  read  my FREE book ”Introduction to Flying Awareness”

E-mail me bligh3@growingaware.com  I will send it to you as a pdf file by return e-mail. Sorry, it cannot be downloaded.


Print out your full size EA profile sheet  Click here


TYPICALLY THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  LIKE THESE MIGHT APPEAR  ON THE TOP LEFT  Self Aware Grown Up System (SAGE)  Purple


Growing sense of grown-up self-awareness and balanced self-empowerment. Feeling good enough lots of the time.

Strong Emotional Intelligence. Strong Rational thinking yet flexible and balanced with powerful empathy, intuition and spirit. Power and control issues replaced by loving and sharing skills. Welcoming growth and change.

I am now the ‘me’ I was always meant to be, my Authentic self! - Self-loving and self honouring, aligned with my own value systems.

I march to the beat of my own drum. I'm no longer bound by other people’s rules. I can change and adapt because I'm flexible and have the power to make my own choices.



TYPICALLY THESE THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  MIGHT APPEAR  IN STAR Explorer where thinking and awareness start growing together with a sense of Balance -(aqua blue green)

“I choose to ....” “I have these options.”; “First I think the plan out. Then I put it into action. I make it work, I get it done, the way I wanted. “I can learn new and better ways to fix things. “I'm free to choose.
I'm learning how to look at different options. Please do not try to stop me”

 



TYPICALLY THESE THOUGHTS and FEELINGS  MIGHT APPEAR  ON THE Young Pusher-driver sector - LOWER RIGHT (Dark Yellow)   “ Let’s just get it fixed”

Feeling much stronger. Rational mind is now able to share the work. These parts work better by looking at problems then reasoning, analysing and arguing but often with an eye to winning rather than resolving the problem.

Typically Pusher_Drivers can sound very business-like when it is talking and acting but their energy even in these cases is still that of a young pusher not a more balanced grown up  aware pusher

STAR Thinker Fixers - Dark green  “How can we fix it together ......”

Moving into the green zone is a big step forward. At this point you can start to notice your Emotional Age growing and you begin feeling more confident. Your rational mind would now be able to help look at issues from both sides, then reason, analyse and resolve them, but not always with a mature outlook.

Emotional Age growing and feeling more confident. Rational mind is able to help more by providing the tools to look at issues clearly from both sides, then reason, analyse and resolve but not always with a mature outlook

For a start you might like to read the Emotional age case study -  Case Study A click here- to see how “Dell” uses her Emotional Age Wheel to help her deal with a difficult situation.


Order Your own EA Coffee Mug


The first run has sold out already but more are on the way. Special introductory price $19.95 USD including postage to your address anywhere in the World.

Delivery 14 to 21 days.

Most of my clients use their mug as a way of checking where they are on their EA wheel. When they are stuck in PYRO a quick glance at their EA mug helps them move out of that troublesome zone.

Order by e-mail and pay by PayPal:

bligh3@growingaware.com